By Umar Bashir
Recently in our valley Kashmir number of incidents had happen , in which girl or family claimed that they were pressurised from in-laws either to fullfil the demands after marriage of there daughter or to suffice cultural condigns. In this same intimidation the family or girl or girl herself gets imports of stress and force , then she is gets such idea signs , in which they are either suicidal or internecine for her Respective family. As girls or womens are most sensitive in regard to there parent side , they cautiously know that as parents had cultivated and nurtured us , but still in-laws demand us those condigns which are coercion for family and that can’t bear by any human , because parents have cultivated them for about 20+ years and endowed ethos , nurtured in such a proactive manner , then after such a hardwork still other family demands more even a girl gifted to them . It seems to be really hard for even a smooth minded and common mind. Apart from this , our religion Also prohibits us from such demands with very high intensity and our religion has make a suitable procedure of prohibition about all these things and that very prohibition is really a suitable and secure for every family of community , whether a poor or a less poor. So , where our religion gives you suitable and preferably teachings , then why to adopt those cultural heritage things which are baneful for the families and make injuries sore & young. This is purely materialism croped up in the minds and guts , which always enslaves the Respective girls in every manner. So , please do follow religious guidance and lessons , which are suitable for every fellow from both families.
Also , those people who become in-laws in such releation should be more cautious and careful about to demand few things , as knot has been tied between humans not between commodities. And while you demand for commodities , you will have to pay it Either aforely or after some time , because you too are either a girl or boy , if you are boy then you have to pay for your own girl and if girl , then you have to pay by selfly , at that time you will feel the taste and elation of process . So on which purpose do you want to grab goods.
The most pivotal and active fellow, who if operate in a balanced way can stop all this shot or nip from roots , is the boy with which a knot has been tied. Because he is the central and most important character of this process & the marriage is tied with him , so his words or sayings will be of upper value and worth. If a boy is very much active and passive in terms of these demands , then while he will here about those demands , he can play a role there either to understand or teach those family members who are on the verge of demand or totally refuse that because a he had been rewarded by girl’s parents with most Blissful and valuable gift , that’s the girl and in legal and ethical way , so after that marriage process , his urges and needs become ethical . So the process in which these things become legal are ethical , you understand the value and worth of piousness of the process. And it’s mandatory right and necessary for a boy to balance the things with the family and become a sheild between those things which are spoiling this very pious releation.
Also a boy or his family should turn his mind like this , that whence tied a knot with that girl , from that Very time the girl has become a part of our family , she too had rights from our family and she too had been given governance by our religion , so demands are just fashion lust from your dead cautious.
While watching those very incidents , the tears from soul roll down and wrenches from heart loudly. That very moment the sores become young and screches had been deepened more & more.
So please make those very incidents as lesson for yourself and don’t demand or force girls . A boy or his family doesn’t need anything more than a that fellow , who easily fulfills there works , give stabilization to family , gives comfort to a mother , father and erases Hunger of a boy. Now how can a fellow keep these things aside and urge for any commodity than we should Think about his existence. At last , they too are humans , they too have heart , they too feel of herself , of her own family, of her own father and mother , and there conditions . So , applause her in place of demand her . So too is Someone’s flower , someone’s rose , someone’s crown and please virtue and worth that.