By Sakhshi Khindri


When we talk about the (Indian) culture and civilization ,what is it that sets us Indian apart from the rest of the world?
#sleeping on the same bed with our children .It happens only in india
Nowhere else only in India you will find 3 generation under one roof
Grand father ,son and his son they co -exist.
Respect for elders and the heart felt reverence.India is the only country in the world where we touch the feet of elders to seek their blessings is a show of reverence .Millions of Indians begin their day after touching the feet of their elders.
And in as many languages as they speak ,elders will always bless us with long life .


But do all elders get the respects that they deserves?
For 78 years old Krishna Daweer her children meant everything.she  raised her children with much  hope.After her husband passed away,she lives all alone on the ground floor of the house filled with her memories.But her life took such a turn that she had never imagined.Her son who lived on the first floor began pressurizing her .
She said I owned 42%of the house .The two sons owned 29%each.But her son wanted the entire house.she says that when she refused to comply,  her son misbehaving with her.when  she was away from home her son locked the house.when she returned from  Dehradun,she found that the house was locked,For hours the aged mother was telling her son to open the door and let her in.
The entire nation witnessed how a mother was being treated.Thanks  to the  police and  neighbours that  the lady after being 9 hours on the street  she entered her home at 3:30am   .she said after the death of  my husband my children treat me  badly .This is how my children treat me no one cares for what I feel .she said  how a bird misses her nest that was broken how she hovers above it that is how much I love my home she also said I don’t know how  there are innumerable mothers who are suffering like me.
Parents  sacrifice everything to enable their children but there’s no
Surety that their children won’t end up treating them like stranger.For  parents it is a deep wound that can never heal.It’s so regrettably to see how children hurt their parents.
It is not easy for parents to withstand such a treatment from their children . several aged parents are forced to leave their house and sadly this is happening in large numbers
Thousands of pilgrims arrive everyday in Vrindavan and in the alleys of Vrindavan live  thousands of aged women  worshipping Lord Krishna waiting to die.
According to government figures 15000 old widowed live in Vrindavan of them, a large proportion is destitute mothers they cannot hide their remorse.
A mother can take care of 10 children But 10 children can’t take care of a mother .
The mother who  tried to fullfill the child every need end up living like this by begging.she pays rent for tiny dark room and she hope to find some kind soul who will feed her .They must not have seen their children in many years nor have their children ever tried to look up for them.
  Winnie singh she runs (Maitri) Her aim is to provide a respectable life to the widows in Vrindavan .
I asked Winnie singh  how many have children who could look after them and instead,these children have driven their mothers away how many are there?
She said most of the widows have children and families. But as circumstances would have it ,the children are after the property or in some cases where property isn’t the motive the mother  become a burden
Mothers who reared their children with love and care are abandoned by their children .
This is such a tragedy  at birth  a child clings to the mother without her he cannot survive .each moment is lived in a mother care and that same mother we will forget.

Dr archana Kaushik a professor of Delhi University .Her reasearch concern old age .
She focus on solutions for elder abuse
(said we must prepare so that ageing doesn’t become a social crisis.It cannot be done only by the government or by the people or for that matter by the aged but all sections together.our national  policy for older persons enunciated in 1999 that two third of our population consists of elders and they need economic security. There are only 2 states like delhi and goa,which provides a pension of 1000 or 2000 rupees .But these states are few . Most of the state disburse only 100 or 200 only per month and the condition are so stiff that getting it is practically impossible 92%of aged people need this security but they do not get it only 8% get it. If you give them 100rupees of month how will they feed themselves . Every state government must take care of the aged particularly the destitute and homeless and they should institute proper pension schemes.
For our child , we build schools we build kindergarten school now we even  have the pre kg or play schools and there are   creche where you can put your baby . So in our society there is a plethora of institutions for children . “Why” don’t we think about institutions meant for the aged ?
Like day care centers where the aged person can get together and spend some time . Amongst the people of their age that will reduce family frictions . It is excellent for the mental health  a support  system is esstional to take pressure off the families so the cases of abuse of the elderly will be reduced . A counselling services is also needed .
In earlier time it wasn’t needed but now if you just sit down to listen 99% of the problems will be solved .
All they want is a patient hearing

        A hearing
We need to create these systems within communities . Instead of calling them unproductive, we should create significant roles for them.
Sakhshi Khindri is a permanent writer of Kashmir CANVAS.